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DES TEMPLER

Writer: John LyleJohn Lyle

In 1980, in the company of the late Des Templer, I helped audit Otjiwarongo branch in Namibia. Des was an easygoing, gentle fellow, not at all a fierce, manual thumping bully of an auditor. (Yes, they existed !)


We were working away one morning when he quietly got up to answer a call of Nature. After a while I became aware of a loud thumping noise from somewhere at the back of the branch and I asked the accountant what they were doing there and he said vaguely that he thought they were domicile stamping forms. I accepted that and carried on working but after a while, the noise had reached an annoying crescendo. I asked acidly if they were using bloomin’ sledgehammers so the nervous accountant hurried off to find out what the racket was.


There was poor Des – he had entered the toilet cubicle and locked himself in and the lock on the door had malfunctioned. He was stuck and banging on the door in a demented rage. When we opened the door for him he was beside himself with anger and a usually pleasant, inoffensive man was now a red-faced, raging bull. I of course could not restrain my mirth which only drove him up a notch further in his towering rage. He stormed past me, muttering that if I ever told anyone about it, there would be serious consequences and went out to his car. Not long and he was back, carrying his toolbox and he stalked back into the loo and set to taking the lock off the door…for good.


Needless to say, I ignored his warning to remain mum about the affair – first chance I got I reported the supremely funny incident to the Senior Auditor, Mike Darling who absolutely loved the story. Apparently he kept my letter until he retired. Des eventually recovered his normal placid disposition but we never so much as touched on the subject of Otjiwarongo again.





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