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FUN AT POSTMASBURG

Writer: John LyleJohn Lyle

This little mining town is quite a distance West of Kimberley. Manganese and iron is mined in the district and the army combat training grounds at Lohatla are nearby. Little about the place stands out in my mind but my stay at the local motel is forever etched in my mind.

I booked into the motel in the course of a morning at around 9 am. I had been at nearby Danielskuil and simply moved across. Having signed the book, I decided to offload my luggage, before going in to tackle the branch. I unlocked the chalet door and immediately noticed that there was an open door leading from my room to the chalet behind. I thought I could hear the sound of running water coming through the door and went over to have a look. I found myself looking into the bathroom next door, where a bath was being run by a little old lady standing quietly with her back to me, hands neatly folded in front of her, as naked as she could be!


It was fortunate that the noise of the running water drowned out any sound I might have made, because goodness only knows what her reaction would have been had she seen me. I reversed out of there in a flash and quietly locked the door behind me. Back at reception I casually said that the room they had given me was already occupied – I did not reveal the full horror of what I had observed! I suppose I could have said that I had no idea what the little old lady had on but it sure as hell needed pressing.


The motel never told me when I checked in, that they kept their dining room closed over the week-end so when I popped in for breakfast on Saturday morning, the doors stayed firmly locked. I had to go out grocery shopping and that week-end I had to eat “out” – out of a can. Lucky for me, a cousin of mine worked on one of the mines as a pilot so I invited myself for a braai at their place on Sunday.


At the branch I started settling down in my usual fashion. I always found that there was such a deep-rooted fear of auditors in many small branches, that the accountant would run around like a chicken with its head chopped off, getting nothing done and infecting the rest of his crew with fear. I found that if I could establish rapport with everyone quickly, the disruption my requirements would bring, would be minimal. I had a little selection of jokes I could tell quickly and easily which showed I didn’t bite. One of these was a joke which I’d rather not tell on this open forum, as it is just a tad off colour. It went down so well that everyone laughed and relaxed.


The next day, one little lady sidled up to my desk and asked if I would mind telling “that” joke again because she had wanted to tell it to her husband but halfway through had forgotten how it went. I didn’t think it was THAT funny but I dutifully told it again, hoping she had it word perfect by then. When she turned up at my desk for the second time I balked and said she should tell her husband to come in and I would tell him the flippin’ joke. I thought no more about it until a few days later I was called to the counter to find a strange bloke awaiting me. Upon asking if I could assist him, he said, “Meneer, ek het gekom vir die grap!” The branch is rather small and there was no possible way to tell the joke without everyone hearing. Everyone in the queue was watching me curiously so I took a deep breath and a big chance and told the joke. Luckily there were no maiden spinsters, nuns or predikants in the office and the joke brought the house down. Best damn audience I’ve ever had actually.







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